Deepest Thoughs

Dear Anonymous,
You were the light of my life.  The fact that I fell for you so shortly after meeting you was a sign of more to come. When we built are relationship in Korea through coffee shop visits and little excursions, every time I was over the moon. I remember upsetting you, by criticizing your favorite coffee shop and trying desperately to undo what I had said. I remember enjoying waiting for you, ever time we met. When I would wait for you after you work, it would be a fantastic feeling. I could not have been happier. But then you left Korea, at the one time our relationship was taught. I was so incredibly sad that you left, and whats more upset I couldn’t say good bye. But somehow we salvaged the relationship I returned to London and we had an amazing summer in Europe that I will never forget, I didn’t even know these emotions existed before that summer. I remember vividly the time we spent in Frankfurt, going to that book fair, visiting museums, enjoying German food. Meeting you in Paris and London. And then I moved in with you. Nothing could have made me happier, unfortunately we were both relatively unwell at the time, you more seriously, and somehow even though i loved living with you there, it wasn’t satisfactory, eventually we moved out and you spent time learning a language abroad. There we stayed and I became needy, a pattern that would develop, driving you away, I had never become as attached to a person as I had to you, and a nightmare born out of fear developed in which you would leave me, this would fuel a further year of anxiety. Even though I was happy in every way to be with you, that burden of fear that I carried affected our relationship, until like a self-fulfilling prophecy you decided the relationship was no longer functional and left. I hang on now to hope, somehow like after Korea the relationship can be rekindled in another form. I live in dream, while trying to live day to day. 
I love you so, if somehow I could make you happy again
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